Calm Before The Storm

Dark

Quiet

Still

That, my dear, is a rarity! You may get one of those at a time for a split second but all three, for longer than a breath, very rare. Very rare, indeed... 

I have been sitting here for an hour and a half in the quiet dark, alone. Everyone is still asleep, including the dog. It's just me. I can't even begin to tell you how nice this feels! I coughed a moment ago then held my breath for a good minute afterwards, frozen in fear that I may have woken one of those beautiful little demons up. 

Fifty million things that I could be getting done keep going through my mind but I can't bring myself to get up and do them. For one, they all make some form of noise and I'm enjoying this quiet and two I keep reminding myself it's not often that I get a few minutes for my mind just to have some sweet, calm peace. 

It won't be long before they are up and the peace is gone: B1 will be a moody sulky teenager insisting on "running the show" and attempting to boss around his little brother, B2 will be a nonstop chatter of "Mom. Mom? Mom! MOM!!!", pokemon facts, and what if scenarios, and Lil B will be slapping everyone around (because she is, in fact, the ring leader) and serenading us with her high pitch shrieks and squeals (I very affectionately refer to as the song of her people). I tell you what, that little beautiful girl can cause a room full of people to drop to the fetal position and cover their ears. It's insane! She doesn't do it near as much as she use to (all day, every day was our norm a few months ago), thank God, but man when she does, it scares you to death. The girl can keep your ears ringing for hours. 

Anywho... once they awake my brain will become a short circuiting, frazzled, pile of goop. So I think I will sit here as long as I can and enjoy the clarity. 

Well, I say that but it's almost 8am, which means day is wasting. I could be unloading the dishwasher, cleaning, just getting shit done in general. 

UGH! See how the two sides of my brain fight?!?! It's exhausting! Inevitably the let's get shit done side typically wins. On the occasion that the "you need some chill time" side of my brain arises as the victor from the battle, I am stricken with guilt and anxiety in the end of all the crap I should have gotten done but didn't. It's the curse of being crazy I suppose, lol.

Oh man. I just heard movement upstairs.