Teen Mom To Mom Of A Teenager

Thirteen years ago today, at 5:36pm CST, after 30 some odd hours of labor, I became a mom. I was only 17. And being that that was 2003, there was no insanely popular, MTV reality show to get the chance to make a buttload of money being a teen mom. I never quite viewed myself as a teen mom though, not sure why. B1 was born over Christmas break of my senior year of high school. Baby, school, work... that was my life so I'm not exactly sure why I didn't feel like a teen mom most of the time cause it certainly wasn't the "traditional" way of doing things and I was, in fact, just a teen. I think the first time it hit me that, whoa okay, maybe I'm not your typical high school senior, was at a ceremony type thing, I can't even remember the official name of it. It was for everyone in the state of Oklahoma who scored over so high on their ACT for that year, and I was lucky enough to be one of them and invited to this event. I, of course, had my baby who was about 3 or 4 months at the time it tow. I went up to this desk to check in and find out where to go and the lady seriously done a double take and gave me the most disgusted look when she seen I was holding my baby. I instantly felt a wave of shame because of her look, that passed quickly and my next thought was, "yeah I have a baby and I still managed to excel on my ACT, bitch!" There would come a few other defining "teen mom" moments, like having my son at my high school graduation or when I took him with me to an open house type thing at the college I was accepted to. Everyone had their friends that day as we went from auditorium to different buildings and they did it with ease. I was juggling my baby, his infant carrier, diaper bag, so on and so forth with building anxiety by the second.
Oh, what's that you say? I have to take my student ID photo today. By that time I had ditched the infant carrier in my adviser's office and was starting to panic because what the hell do you do with your 5 month old kid when you need to put them down but have no where to put them?!?! The complete stoner looking kid taking the pics said, "so uhh, you want me to hold it?" It? Nah, I'm good bro, thanks though. I remember laying his blanket on the floor and laying him on it craddling his head between my feet so he wouldn't have it on the hard floor. By that time I was seeing the infamous black anxiety box closing in around my vision, I took the pic, snatched up my kid and hauled ass out of there.
Now, the little large, red headed. adorable butterball that turned my life upside down is 13 today! I took him to the Thunder game Monday night for his bday. I let him get a Thunder Girls calendar, even though I tell both my boys that girls are the devil and they can't look at girls or even think about a relationship until they at least have a masters degree! He was all excited about it but of course had to be play it cool, Mr. Tough Guy when I took a picture.

This kid right here, the guy that made me a mom, is the sweetest, smartest, most kind hearted person you will ever meet. Is he perfect? Nope, no one is. He's a pain in the ass just like any other kid and does things he shouldn't all the time. He's dingy as hell, you would think he was the blonde one instead of me, but yet he's so super smart. At the end of the day, he has an amazing heart, and I pray that never changes. I love this child more than he could ever know!!

12/23/2003, the day my world changed. 12/23/2016, the day I realized I'm getting old and now have a teenager that is going to cause my hair to start falling out at a more rapid pace.