Suck It Up Buttercup

Lil B's first and last picture with Santa. As you can see, even then she was NOT feelin this whole bearded man in an out of style red suit thing. I tried taking her to Santa the next year, she flipped shit. Like attacked the poor man. The girl don't play, she will throw down when she sees fit, just ask B2. 2014- I didn't even attempt to go anywhere near a Santa; 2015- I was pushing her through the mall in her stroller, we had to pass Santa to get to Dillards. I sped up to get passed quickly, there wasn't a line and Santa was just chillin, he smiled big and waved at Lil B as we walked by, to which she very matter of factly and very sternly said, "NO!" At that time she really didn't say any words period, so that was quite the surprise. I remember laughing, her little attitude at least makes these situations kind of funny, well sometimes... 

This year, 2016, B2 wanted to see Santa so while we were shopping mom and I took him over. My mom walked him up to the line and I stayed back on the other side of the "Santa Security" gate with Lil B in her stroller. The elf asked B2 his name then asked for his sister's name. We told her sister wouldn't be going, for Santa's safety. B2 gets up to Santa and Santa must have been talking to him about Lil B as he kept looking over to her and pointing as he talked to B2. Even from far away and a fence between them, every time he looked at her she said, "Nope!" I was amused for the time and "it" wasn't even creeping, so I thought. It wasn't until later when I was searching for the picture and came across the one above of her first and last Santa pic that "it" came. The son of a bitch bit me and bit me hard! I stared at the picture for a few moments then I realized I was bawling like a baby. How long had I been crying? Why was I crying so hard? Good God, is the door locked so no one can walk up in here and see me blubbering like a fool????

I couldn't take my eyes off the picture. Even through the blubbering ugly cry face, I smiled some because of that little sassy look on her face at not even quite 4 months old. The thought stayed with me for a day or two. My beautiful little girl won't sit on Santa's lap and tell him what she wants for Christmas, she doesn't even understand Christmas. Then I could see and hear in my mind, a friend of mine, "Suck It Up Buttercup!" That's her saying for her boys at baseball games. (she cracks me up). I thought, "yeah suck it up, what the hell is wrong with you. So what! So freaking what, Lil B doesn't like Santa! Who the hell cares! No matter what she can't or won't ever do, we have way too many blessings with her and the boys to be crying like an idiot over Santa... SANTA! Jeez. Suck it up!!" 

No matter how much you "suck it up" though, it's inevitable, it's going to hit you sometimes. 

Lately, when I think of things she can't do, I try to think "yet", she can't do them yet. Doesn't mean she wont' ever do them. Certainly doesn't mean it's easy to think of that little three letter word, but I'm trying. Lil B can't see Santa without kicking his ass...YET!

Have a good night folks. It's 3AM here, I think it's time I go to bed!