Until next time... ✌❤

Come on, we've all thought it. Hell if you haven't you are either lying to yourself or you haven't been a parent long enough. I would say on average I think it at least once a day about one of my little darlings; "My kid is a total asshole!"
Exhibit A:





And believe me when I say the pictures do not do this mess she made justice! Lil B has spent a majority of the last couple of days "playing" (her way of playing as she doesn't play in your typical fashion) with all her new things, so the fact that she was in her room for so long while we were all watching a movie wasn't surprising. We heard an odd noise but quickly realized it was her necklaces and bracelets that she plays with. So we thought...
The movie had a few minutes left so I watched then went in to check on her and put her clothes up, that's when I saw it. A freaking pre-k arts and crafts explosion nightmare. Rice and elbow macaroni were all over her room. The macaroni blended in with her carpet like a damn duck hunter in camouflage.
As I was cleaning it up, doing a good deal of bitching and complaining along the way, B2 decides it was a good time to come in the room and ask me where in the world his extra batteries to his remote control car went. Really kid? REALLY?!?! Just walk away!!!
I seriously don't even know that I got it all cleaned up, every time I thought I was done I would stumble across another huge pile of macaroni. Did I mention I had just bought both the macaroni and the rice? Yep, that was the cherry on top.
So yeah, my kid is an asshole. All of them are at some point and quite honestly if you think your kid is never an asshole, well then I've got news for you... you're more than likely an asshole and I'm willing to bet you're kid is quite the asshole.
In all honestly, everyone in the world is an asshole at some time or another, no one is just super nice and perfect all the time. Just because you may think your kid is being an asshole, doesn't make you a bad parent or anything of the sort, I happen to think it makes you a very aware and down to Earth parent. You can love your kid with all your heart and know that they aren't perfect. That's life. Real life anyways. It's just the facts of life...
♫You take the good, you take the bad, 
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.
There's a time you got to go and show
You're growin' now you know about
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.♫

Thirteen years ago today, at 5:36pm CST, after 30 some odd hours of labor, I became a mom. I was only 17. And being that that was 2003, there was no insanely popular, MTV reality show to get the chance to make a buttload of money being a teen mom. I never quite viewed myself as a teen mom though, not sure why. B1 was born over Christmas break of my senior year of high school. Baby, school, work... that was my life so I'm not exactly sure why I didn't feel like a teen mom most of the time cause it certainly wasn't the "traditional" way of doing things and I was, in fact, just a teen. I think the first time it hit me that, whoa okay, maybe I'm not your typical high school senior, was at a ceremony type thing, I can't even remember the official name of it. It was for everyone in the state of Oklahoma who scored over so high on their ACT for that year, and I was lucky enough to be one of them and invited to this event. I, of course, had my baby who was about 3 or 4 months at the time it tow. I went up to this desk to check in and find out where to go and the lady seriously done a double take and gave me the most disgusted look when she seen I was holding my baby. I instantly felt a wave of shame because of her look, that passed quickly and my next thought was, "yeah I have a baby and I still managed to excel on my ACT, bitch!" There would come a few other defining "teen mom" moments, like having my son at my high school graduation or when I took him with me to an open house type thing at the college I was accepted to. Everyone had their friends that day as we went from auditorium to different buildings and they did it with ease. I was juggling my baby, his infant carrier, diaper bag, so on and so forth with building anxiety by the second.
Oh, what's that you say? I have to take my student ID photo today. By that time I had ditched the infant carrier in my adviser's office and was starting to panic because what the hell do you do with your 5 month old kid when you need to put them down but have no where to put them?!?! The complete stoner looking kid taking the pics said, "so uhh, you want me to hold it?" It? Nah, I'm good bro, thanks though. I remember laying his blanket on the floor and laying him on it craddling his head between my feet so he wouldn't have it on the hard floor. By that time I was seeing the infamous black anxiety box closing in around my vision, I took the pic, snatched up my kid and hauled ass out of there.
Now, the little large, red headed. adorable butterball that turned my life upside down is 13 today! I took him to the Thunder game Monday night for his bday. I let him get a Thunder Girls calendar, even though I tell both my boys that girls are the devil and they can't look at girls or even think about a relationship until they at least have a masters degree! He was all excited about it but of course had to be play it cool, Mr. Tough Guy when I took a picture.

This kid right here, the guy that made me a mom, is the sweetest, smartest, most kind hearted person you will ever meet. Is he perfect? Nope, no one is. He's a pain in the ass just like any other kid and does things he shouldn't all the time. He's dingy as hell, you would think he was the blonde one instead of me, but yet he's so super smart. At the end of the day, he has an amazing heart, and I pray that never changes. I love this child more than he could ever know!!

12/23/2003, the day my world changed. 12/23/2016, the day I realized I'm getting old and now have a teenager that is going to cause my hair to start falling out at a more rapid pace.

For the most part, I have made peace with the fact that there's just some things Lil B won't ever do. Most of the time they're ridiculous things that I'm the only one that cares about and I don't let it bother me much anymore. Every now and then though, it jumps up and bites me in the ass. What's "it"? A strange feeling really... anxiety, sorrow, anger, hurt, followed by feeling like a complete jerk for feeling that way over something that shouldn't matter. It sneaks up on you.
I was scrolling through my fb, searching for a picture of something and I came across this: