Happy Holidays????...Holiday Probs of a Special Needs Mom
12:58 PM
It’s been
forever since I’ve wrote but I’m pretty damn fired up right now and I need an
outlet. Holidays are stressful for everyone, no doubt about that, but for those
of us that do it with a special needs child… hello hell!!!
Bah Humbug and
Merry F’ing Christmas… I am so damn over this shit! Once Halloween is over it’s
all downhill for the rest of the year. I don’t like being the person that wants
everyone to accommodate to them because they have a child with Autism. However,
I get so sick and tired of feeling like I’m running into the same brick wall
over and over. Although it’s not fair to my older two kids, I think I’m 100% to
the point of we will be having Thanksgiving/Christmas at our house, with our
kids and if you want to see us then bring your butt on over and see us.
No one seems to
even attempt to get it. Why can no one understand??? It is absolute hell taking
Lil B to a family gathering at someone else’s’ house. At least if the
gatherings are at our house, she can retreat to her room when she gets
overwhelmed like she does when we have the kids’ birthday parties here. If we
aren’t home, her only refuge is the car; nothing’s more fun than sitting alone
in the car with your kid or driving around aimlessly while everyone else is
together doing activities.
 |
| Lil B and I driving around on 4th of July while 2 hours from home |
Things aren’t as simple as handing Lil B some damn
crayons and thinking she’s gonna be all good in a place she’s at maybe once a
year, that isn’t kid friendly, sure as hell isn’t ASD kid friendly, and where
she can basically do nothing. Those crayons will work real damn good until I
turn my head for 3 seconds and she colors on your wall or God knows what else.
YOU ENJOYING HAVING THE HOLIDAYS AT YOUR HOUSE NOW?!?!
Don’t get me
wrong, we have family that try to make sure there are things she loves at their
house so that she is happy as best as can be. There’s still no solution for
when she is overwhelmed and needs her happy place, but it at least helps and we
appreciate that.
This year brings
an even extra “hell no we won’t go” feeling to going place for the holidays as
my husband will be having hip surgery three days before Christmas. <insert
old man joke here, I’m too annoyed to be witty.>
Tell me I’m not
alone here people! I know other special needs families go through the same
things. What are your solutions? Talk to me!
Until next time…
5 comments
I hear ya! I have 2 special needs kiddos and my one boy needs things to climb, jump off of, etc. He also has trouble sleeping at other people's houses too! (He's 3 years old.) He is also non-verbal... so he has a hard time understanding (or at least communicating that he understands) all the "differences" involved with staying at other people's houses - and by that, I mean grandma and grandpa. They do SO MUCH to try to cater to us (move their huge tv to the mantle), take things off their end tables and assume he will just jump off of them, etc. but it is still SO.... HARD.....
ReplyDeleteALL of my family is out of town and we are the furthest. Last Christmas was HORRIBLE seeing as most everyone was sick (I was in the ER with my baby girl who ended up having pneumonia!) SO we decided this year - we are not celebrating Christmas in December. We will all celebrate together at my parent's house sometime in January when everyone is all well! If someone is sick, we will reschedule. That alone takes off so much unneeded stress!
As for the climbing and sleeping, we try to take him to parks or places he CAN climb and for the sleeping - we recently started him on melatonin so who knows how that will impact him at someone else's house (we're hoping for the best!).
Loved reading your blog. Hearing from another special needs mom is.... special. :*) Normal moms just don't truly understand, no matter how hard they may try. I have a normal developing girl and life with her is just so different compared to my boys. Thank you for sharing and having an outlet for others to share.
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. One of these days I will get back in the habit of blogging on a regular basis.
DeleteOne idea I had for you is maybe when she gets overwhelmed, she could have a pre-discussed designated area (a room?) where she could go and do whatever she needs to do to feel herself again. :) This room could have anything from headphones to calming music to blankets to her favorite movie. We ask my one son if he needs a "break" or a "rest time" and he either says yes or no and we go from there... but if he does need a break, I make sure that he's happy in a room somewhere with his tablet, drink and snack. :) That might help Lil B!
ReplyDeleteWe've tried and we always take her ipad which has her shows on it and games, her fav toys, etc, but typically when we are out she has no interest in any of her normal things. She's all about the "cool new things" all around her she wants to touch and mess with.
DeleteOh, I understand that!!!
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