Until next time... ✌❤

Come on, we've all thought it. Hell if you haven't you are either lying to yourself or you haven't been a parent long enough. I would say on average I think it at least once a day about one of my little darlings; "My kid is a total asshole!"
Exhibit A:





And believe me when I say the pictures do not do this mess she made justice! Lil B has spent a majority of the last couple of days "playing" (her way of playing as she doesn't play in your typical fashion) with all her new things, so the fact that she was in her room for so long while we were all watching a movie wasn't surprising. We heard an odd noise but quickly realized it was her necklaces and bracelets that she plays with. So we thought...
The movie had a few minutes left so I watched then went in to check on her and put her clothes up, that's when I saw it. A freaking pre-k arts and crafts explosion nightmare. Rice and elbow macaroni were all over her room. The macaroni blended in with her carpet like a damn duck hunter in camouflage.
As I was cleaning it up, doing a good deal of bitching and complaining along the way, B2 decides it was a good time to come in the room and ask me where in the world his extra batteries to his remote control car went. Really kid? REALLY?!?! Just walk away!!!
I seriously don't even know that I got it all cleaned up, every time I thought I was done I would stumble across another huge pile of macaroni. Did I mention I had just bought both the macaroni and the rice? Yep, that was the cherry on top.
So yeah, my kid is an asshole. All of them are at some point and quite honestly if you think your kid is never an asshole, well then I've got news for you... you're more than likely an asshole and I'm willing to bet you're kid is quite the asshole.
In all honestly, everyone in the world is an asshole at some time or another, no one is just super nice and perfect all the time. Just because you may think your kid is being an asshole, doesn't make you a bad parent or anything of the sort, I happen to think it makes you a very aware and down to Earth parent. You can love your kid with all your heart and know that they aren't perfect. That's life. Real life anyways. It's just the facts of life...
♫You take the good, you take the bad, 
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.
There's a time you got to go and show
You're growin' now you know about
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.♫

Thirteen years ago today, at 5:36pm CST, after 30 some odd hours of labor, I became a mom. I was only 17. And being that that was 2003, there was no insanely popular, MTV reality show to get the chance to make a buttload of money being a teen mom. I never quite viewed myself as a teen mom though, not sure why. B1 was born over Christmas break of my senior year of high school. Baby, school, work... that was my life so I'm not exactly sure why I didn't feel like a teen mom most of the time cause it certainly wasn't the "traditional" way of doing things and I was, in fact, just a teen. I think the first time it hit me that, whoa okay, maybe I'm not your typical high school senior, was at a ceremony type thing, I can't even remember the official name of it. It was for everyone in the state of Oklahoma who scored over so high on their ACT for that year, and I was lucky enough to be one of them and invited to this event. I, of course, had my baby who was about 3 or 4 months at the time it tow. I went up to this desk to check in and find out where to go and the lady seriously done a double take and gave me the most disgusted look when she seen I was holding my baby. I instantly felt a wave of shame because of her look, that passed quickly and my next thought was, "yeah I have a baby and I still managed to excel on my ACT, bitch!" There would come a few other defining "teen mom" moments, like having my son at my high school graduation or when I took him with me to an open house type thing at the college I was accepted to. Everyone had their friends that day as we went from auditorium to different buildings and they did it with ease. I was juggling my baby, his infant carrier, diaper bag, so on and so forth with building anxiety by the second.
Oh, what's that you say? I have to take my student ID photo today. By that time I had ditched the infant carrier in my adviser's office and was starting to panic because what the hell do you do with your 5 month old kid when you need to put them down but have no where to put them?!?! The complete stoner looking kid taking the pics said, "so uhh, you want me to hold it?" It? Nah, I'm good bro, thanks though. I remember laying his blanket on the floor and laying him on it craddling his head between my feet so he wouldn't have it on the hard floor. By that time I was seeing the infamous black anxiety box closing in around my vision, I took the pic, snatched up my kid and hauled ass out of there.
Now, the little large, red headed. adorable butterball that turned my life upside down is 13 today! I took him to the Thunder game Monday night for his bday. I let him get a Thunder Girls calendar, even though I tell both my boys that girls are the devil and they can't look at girls or even think about a relationship until they at least have a masters degree! He was all excited about it but of course had to be play it cool, Mr. Tough Guy when I took a picture.

This kid right here, the guy that made me a mom, is the sweetest, smartest, most kind hearted person you will ever meet. Is he perfect? Nope, no one is. He's a pain in the ass just like any other kid and does things he shouldn't all the time. He's dingy as hell, you would think he was the blonde one instead of me, but yet he's so super smart. At the end of the day, he has an amazing heart, and I pray that never changes. I love this child more than he could ever know!!

12/23/2003, the day my world changed. 12/23/2016, the day I realized I'm getting old and now have a teenager that is going to cause my hair to start falling out at a more rapid pace.

For the most part, I have made peace with the fact that there's just some things Lil B won't ever do. Most of the time they're ridiculous things that I'm the only one that cares about and I don't let it bother me much anymore. Every now and then though, it jumps up and bites me in the ass. What's "it"? A strange feeling really... anxiety, sorrow, anger, hurt, followed by feeling like a complete jerk for feeling that way over something that shouldn't matter. It sneaks up on you.
I was scrolling through my fb, searching for a picture of something and I came across this:

We've all seen the funny memes "You may be an autism mom if..." all of which probably wrote by an autism mom to shed some light hearted humor on their situation. You have to laugh to keep from crying most days. While cooking Thanksgiving dinner yesterday, I had to laugh at the fact that in that moment I was a real life meme.

My Real Life Meme

Most Autism parents can tell you, your kids can have some strange eating habits. My daughter only has a handful of things that she eats, none of which are exactly healthy. Scrambled eggs is the healthiest thing she will eat, however she has a slight allergy to cow's milk and eggs, so her ENT told me she can only have them once every couple of weeks. 

Little Miss Thang has had bows put in her hair since she was born. Nowadays I do less bows and more style but we still do bows quite a bit. With her ever developing attitude, most days ripping her bows out of her hair is my "punishment" when I tick her off!  As I sat here this afternoon, posting some items to Poshmark, she started bringing me her bows one by one and wanting them in my hair. She was very meticulous about where on my head each bow went. With Autism can come some OCD type behaviors, with Lil B they are hit or miss with what she is going to be so anal about, but lucky me this got to be one of them that everything had to be just right. <Sigh> Oh well... if she's not wrecking the house or being a complete asshole, most the time I just go with it, most things just aren't worth the fight, and not a whole lot gives her a genuine smile. Unfortunately she is refusing to let me remove these from my head!! Let's hope I remember to take them out before B2's doctor appointment this afternoon. I've accidentally ran to the store before with one of her bows in my hair, I can only imagine the looks this would get!
 Regardless of the weird bow crown on my head, her not looking at the camera, or the fact that she has her pant legs pulled all the way up to her booty, this picture is perfect, because of that smile! That true Lil B smile is a heart melter!! Maybe with her beautiful work she's done here I can find a man.... HA!!! Totally kidding!

Who am I and what am I doing here? Honestly, hell if I know...

My name is Kira Morris. I am a mom. I am a special needs mom. I am a homemaker (is that the politically correct way to say it nowadays??) . Now wait, before you go closing this thinking it's another one of "those" same ol same ol blogs, it's not! Well maybe it is, I don't know.
To be honest I'm not even sure what "kind" of blog this is. It's my thoughts, it's my day, it's my outlet.
Blogging has crossed my mind many of times over the last year or two. I've always pushed the thought away, it's been years since I've wrote and who wants to hear what I have to say anyways? Maybe someone does though. Maybe there's someone who needs to see that the same crazy bullshit happens in other people's lives too. The same "WTF why is this my life" moments are shared by many and that you're not alone. One day you may be able to read a blog here of the struggle I had that day of my 8 year old with the smart mouth blurting something out that shouldn't have been said. The next, my angry post of Lord only knows what, letting out my frustrations to keep me from ripping someone's face off. Hell, you may even get a good ol ding bat blond moment post, I do have those moments a lot. Oh and in case you haven't notice by the title of my website and the couple of times I've done it already, I do cuss a little. Okay, sometimes a lot. I'm generally a good person though, lol. My writing style does change depending on my mood and topic, I swear it's only me writing even though one day's post may be completely different format than the previous. So if you are still with me through all these ramblings, let me tell you just a bit about myself.
Like I said earlier, I am a mom. A mom that probably should have actually done her hair and makeup and taken a great picture for this blog, BUT yeah that doesn't happen often and this pic happened to be in my phone. So there ya go, no makeup. Lovely. Anywho... I have three amazing kids. All of their names start with B and for the sake of keeping some privacy they will be referred to as B1, B2, and Lil B. My world is a bit different. My mom, my husband, and I all bought a house together; doing this gave me some more assistance with the kids as it can be difficult taking Lil B everywhere I need to be taking the older two(more about that later). My husband and I are currently separated however so he no longer lives here with us. I honestly couldn't tell you much more about me, I'm trying to relearn myself as we speak. Now to introduce you to my beautiful little demons ;)